Humans are hard-wired for love right from birth. Love makes us happy and creates the bonds that sustain us through the hard times and make the good times even better. Love strengthens the relationships that bolster our mental, physical, and emotional health. But best of all, there is no time limit on finding love, even later in life when many seniors think love is no longer in the cards. When seeking happiness consider all the ways love can play a role.
The types of love that bring happiness to seniors
Romantic love
For many seniors, romantic love may seem like the least attainable of all, but it shouldn’t. While societal norms may by default close the door on romantic love for seniors, many seniors still can and do find romantic love.
According to the psychologytoday.com article, “Aging’s Best-Kept Secret: Thriving Love and Intimacy,” age is not a barrier to romantic love and, according to the University of Michigan’s 2017 National Poll on Healthy Aging, 72% of people ages 65-80 who were polled reported being in a romantic relationship, with 92% in relationships of 10 years or more and just 4% in relationships of less than five years. It’s also notable that seniors, despite what younger people think, still consider intimacy important and 65% remained interested in sex.
Even for seniors who have lost a spouse or partner, have physical limitations, or other perceived roadblocks to romantic love, love is still possible. For excellent tips on finding love and staying safe and healthy check out the greatsenioryears.com article, “Senior Romance: Guide to Dating Over 70 in the US.”
Self-love
Loving oneself may seem selfish on the surface but in reality, self-love is about being compassionate. According to the health.clevelandclinic.org article, “Self-Love: Why It’s Important and What You Can Do To Love Yourself,” simply treating yourself with the same level of compassion shown to friends and family members can help seniors support, respect, and soothe themselves rather than wait for someone else to do it. In addition, being compassionate toward oneself can help change that inner voice that is self-critical and demeaning to one that is forgiving, nurturing, and more like a best friend than an enemy.
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Platonic love
Love that is free from romantic and sexual ties is platonic love. This is the form of love commonly found in deep friendships and among family members who simply love and care for each other. As noted in the verywellmind.com article, “What It Means to Be in a Platonic Relationship,” while platonic love may have many of the hallmarks of a romantic relationship like honesty, closeness, acceptance, and understanding it is the absence of physical/sexual intimacy that defines it as platonic.
Platonic relationships are an important part of a healthy and fulfilling life and may also be the beginning of a relationship that blossoms into something more. In addition, having loving friends and companions can help lower stress and vulnerability to mental and physical diseases and help to increase resilience in times of change and trouble.
As with any relationship, however, it’s important to know when it’s time to end it. According to the psychologytoday.com article, “9 Signs That It’s Time to End a Friendship,” there are plenty of red flags to watch for. These include a lack of things in common, disrespecting boundaries, feeling bad about yourself when with them, being needy but not giving, and feeling that the friendship is a competition are all great reasons to say goodbye.
Compassionate love
While romantic love and platonic love have clear dividing lines, compassionate love is a form of love that can exist within either or on its own. Compassion, which is often defined as sympathy and understanding for others, can exist on many levels from all of humanity to the homeless man on the corner to someone suffering from an illness or loss of a loved one. Many seniors also express compassionate love through volunteering, for example by helping at a hospice center, working in a food bank, or by being there for a friend in need. According to the betterhelp.com article, “What Is Compassionate Love?,” what makes it special is that compassionate love is selfless and expects nothing in return.
Pet love
No look at love is complete without mentioning the love humans feel for their pets. Having a pet offers many seniors companionship and unconditional love and can keep them more active and mentally engaged. In addition, according to a study cited in the illuminatingfacts.com article, “The Science of Pet Love: Unraveling the Bond Between Humans and Their Animal,” just as with love for another human, love for a pet causes the brain to release the “love hormone” oxytocin which enhances trust and well-being.
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